What if?
by Elleth of Hidden Lore
Summary: Harry and Draco's encounter in the girl's bathroom takes a different turn when, instead of fighting him, Harry tries to reason with Draco to help him. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.


**This story idea came right out of nowhere and I couldn't rest until I wrote it down. I've never even had this couple in mind before. But I hope you enjoy it.**

**WARNING!**

**There are themes of severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and some suggestions of sexual content.**

**Picture found on a google search so it's not mine.**

**What if?**

The sight of him sent all his weakly-composed demeanour into a crumbling mess. Why did he have to notice him? Why did he have to stare so pointedly?

His chest felt like it would collapse in on itself if he stood there a second longer, so Draco took a step back, turned, and speed away. There was no here else to go but the girl's bathroom. He stumbled the last paces to the sink. There was a heat, like a furnace within himself that threatened to smother him, so he tore off his cardigan and opened to sink to splash water on his face.

He fiercely gripped the sink as stared at his reflection. The boy that looked back to him had terrified eyes and look that pleaded for safety, for comfort, for someone to _see_ him and know…

A sob burst through his lips before he knew it, and now tears streamed down his face as his cries rang through the abandoned bathroom.

ooOoo

Harry's heart did a sickening flip when saw Draco walk in, looking ghostly and ill. The urge to run up to him and demand to know where he'd been, and why he looked like he'd been kept locked up in a torture chamber for the past weeks was overwhelming. He'd long stopped asking himself why he cared at all, and just convinced himself that it was because Draco was up to something dangerous and he was the only one who could see it.

He should have just looked away when Draco walked in. He shouldn't have cared that he looked like he was being haunted by a living nightmare. And he definitely shouldn't have ran after him. But here he was, staring at Draco from the corner of the wall, and the sight of him made his heart ache so damned fiercely that it made him feel sick. Draco was sobbing, alone in this forsaken bathroom. Him, arrogant and proud Draco Malfoy, was bent over a sink in a girl's bathroom, sobbing his heart out.

His feet moved forward before his mind processed what he was doing. His footsteps echoed, and Draco's face snapped up to stare at him through the mirror.

For a moment, they stared at each other in uncertainty. Then, Draco pulled out his wand.

"Wait-" Harry begun before lunging behind a stall to avoid the curse flung at him. He had no idea what to say now. What _could_ he say? _I am worried about you? Tell me who hurt you and I'll make them pay? Why? Oh, no reason at all. Certainly not because my mind and heart don't seem to want to let you go._

"Draco," he tried to sound as unthreatening as possible. "I'm not here to fight you." He peeked over the stall and quickly hid once more when another curse flew right where his face had been. "Damn it, Draco! I'm not here to fight! Just… hear me out?" There was only silence. "Please?"

When no reply came, Harry dared another peek. Draco was standing there, his body visibly shaking, and his wand at the ready. Harry flinched away, expecting another curse, but none came. After a few seconds of hesitation, he slowly walked out of his hiding spot. He kept his hands on his side, trying hard not to reach for his own wand.

Now what?

Frustration filled Harry at the lack of words to say. This was a situation he could have never prepared for. So, he took a tentative step forward.

Draco shifted, his wand arm stiffening as he aimed.

"It's alright," Harry nearly whispered. Against his better judgement which screamed at him that he was a bloody idiot, he slowly raised his hands in a show of peace. "I just want to talk."

Draco stared at Harry, his mind screaming at him from all directions.

_Kill him now! _

_Listen to what he has to say!_

_This is your only chance to earn some safety!_

_This is your only chance to talk to him!_

_You could earn your freedom if you kill him!_

_He could free you forever…_

His breath became ragged with every step that Harry took. The war within himself threatened to break his mind completely. And before he knew it, Harry was only a few paces away from him, staring at him as if he was worried, as if he saw his troubles. But… if he did, his loyalties would certainly be on Dumbledore, the man he was trying to kill. The horror of his stupidity for even considering that Harry might understand and help him dawned on him. His lips quivered as he stumbled upon the words for a curse.

"No!" Harry yelled when he saw what Draco was trying to do and lunged for him.

Draco cried out the curse as his legs stumbled with each other back.

The curse flew a breath away from Harry's face as he grabbed Draco by his wand arm and pushed his body weight onto the boy. They collapsed, him pinning Draco down. He readied himself for Draco to struggle, but was surprised to see the boy lie still as a grave.

Harry's own breathing was now ragged as he stared down into Draco's dead eyes. It was as if he had given up completely. For a terrifying moment, Harry feared he had actually somehow killed the boy. But then, Draco's sad eyes slowly blinked at him, and Harry sighed with relief.

"Draco, you… you…" he stammered. "Well, say something!"

"Just end it, Potter," Draco whispered, pleadingly.

Harry's eyes widened in horror at his suggestion.

"End it? End it! Draco, I don't want to _end_ anything!"

"I'm killing Dumbledore," Draco said flatly. There was nothing in his tone or eyes.

"Yo- you're lying," Harry stuttered.

"No. It's my task. I'm killing Dumbledore, and I will do it. No one will believe you if you tell them. So, end me, or I will kill him."

"Draco," Harry's voice trembled. He now understood. Or at least, he thought he did. It made sense why he had been away, why he looked like he was living through hell. He had to be telling the truth. But he could see that this wasn't something he wanted to do. This was eating him alive. He was forced to do this, and he was afraid, so afraid, that he wanted Harry to kill him, to end his pain. The thoughts made him sick.

"What if-" he said, his voice coarse with emotion and frustration. "Wh-what if you let me help you?"

He saw a glint across Draco's eyes, something desperate and hopeful at the same time. He almost believed that Draco had been wanting him to say just that.

"I can find a way to protect you. Dumbledore can protect you."

Draco's face twisted with anger and fear. "He'll kill me or have me sent to Azkaban!" his eyes widened, and his body shook as if saying the words out loud for the first time made the situation impossible to avoid. His chest began to heave and his eyes glared back at Harry with tears streaming out freely. "Just kill me, damn it!" he screamed in his face. "You've always bloody hated me! You've lived on my case, tried to prove that I'm one of the bad guys. So now you have proof. I just told you I'm killing Dumbledore! So just bloody kill me, Potter!"

"I'm not killing you!" Harry screamed back.

"Damn you, Potter!" he cried as he began to struggle to get free.

Harry put more pressure on Draco, but stopped when he flinched and winced in pain.

"Draco, please. I don't hate you! Alright? In fact, it's quite the bloody opposite!"

Draco simply stared as he tears continued to stream down.

Harry cried out in despair before he lunged down. Draco's eyes closed shut and his body stiffened, expecting a blow, but he only felt the wand being torn away from his hand and heard it fall somewhere off in a stall, followed by the sound of another wand also landing far away. His eyes opened to see Harry panting over him, his eyes full of… fear. But what could he fear when he had all the advantages? And, had he just thrown away his own wand?

"Yes," Harry said when he saw Draco look for the wand that should be on his side. "I threw mine away too. Because I'm not killing you. And I'm not letting you just go through this alone. You need help. And I understand. I know you think I don't, but I do." His voice took a gentle tone. "I care, Draco. I… I care… for you."

The words sounded like the moment when you're waking, the images and words of a far off dream still foggy in your mind. They couldn't be real. But then, a hand tentatively pressed against the side of his face, and a warmth spread through his body like magic. His eyes closed and impulsively he leaned against the hand.

_This is a dream. And I will wake soon. _

The weight on his body lessened as Harry shifted to place his knees on either side of him. Then, lips pressed against his forehead and he gasped.

Harry quickly pulled away. "I'm sorry! I should have asked first. I'm so sorry, Draco, I-"

Draco pushed himself partly up, a hopeful, wild and desperate look in his eyes. His face came inches from Harry's, but he immediately regretted it. He laid down, his face hot and red, and he tried to cover it with his hands. But Harry's pried them away and his face came close, so painfully close.

"Can I?" Harry whispered.

Draco wasn't sure what he was asking. But whatever it was that Harry wanted to do right now, he would allow. Whether it was he'd kiss or kill him, he'd let him. So he nodded and waited. But not for long, because Harry's lips came down upon his, soft and trembling, and magical. A hand snaked behind his neck and held him closer, and he found his own hand gripping Harry's shirt. The kiss deepened, and suddenly they were pressed chest to chest, lips pressing harder and bodies heating up. Harry shifted on Draco, and Draco gasped in a moan.

"Sorry!" Harry whispered coarsely as he tried to pull away, but Draco pulled him on top of him, causing them both to moan.

"Draco," Harry whispered in a caught breath, suddenly keenly aware of their situation, of the way the entire bodies touched and pressed, of the growing heat they each shared against each other, and the way Draco looked at him with such raw, aching desire. He kissed him again, deep and slow, earning a moan from the boy who seemed to want more and more of him. He broke the kiss and his mouth slowly began to kiss the side of his face, then his neck. His teeth gently grazed the soft, pale skin, earning a shudder.

Urgency began to win over. Harry's hands began to roam over Draco's body, touching everywhere. Dracon pushed himself into a sitting position and pulled Harry against him, groaning as they rubbed against each other. This was bliss. This was surreal. This was madness. But he'd be damned if he stopped now, because he was sure as hell that this was a fluke, a one in a million chance that would never happen again. He didn't care anymore what happened afterwards. He only cared about the now. And right now, Harry's hand had just slipped under his shirt and his fingers were roughly coursing over his chest.

"Potter," he whispered.

"It's Harry," he replied, stopping his movement and looking Draco in the eyes. "Say it," he said, not demanding, but pleading as if that was the last barrier to tumble down.

Draco stared at him with wide eyes, his mouth parting but no words coming out. Harry's fingers entangled with Draco's hair at the back of his neck and he tugged him forward to kiss him fiercely. His teeth nipped at Draco's lips and the boy gasped in pleasure. They kissed, tugging at each other as if the other way trying to get away.

Finally, they parted, and Draco closed his eyes and whispered, "Harry."

Harry choked a small, emotionally charged laugh. "Yeah," he said, feeling stupidly giddy.

Draco opened his eyes and stared at him as if in a dream. Slowly, the reality that they still had to deal with something very dangerous and difficult.

Harry placed a hand Draco's face and stared into his eyes as he spoke. "I won't let anything happen to you. Alright? I _know_ that Dumbledore will help. He's helped others before."

Draco smiled sadly. "He'll think I'm using you to get close to him."

"I will talk to him. I'll tell him what happened. He'll understand."

"And what if I betrayed you?"

"You won't."

The certainty with which he said it made Draco's chest ache.

"You don't know that."

"You had a clear shot at me earlier, and you didn't take it."

"I di-"

"No," he said, sternly. "You panicked. That's all. You were scared, and I get it. We'll get through this."

Draco stared at him for a long moment before a small, hopeful laugh escaped his lips. He didn't remember when was the last time he'd smiled.

"Whatever you say, Harry," he whispered.

Harry smiled and kissed him softly. Draco tugged him close once more, and heat began to rise again.

Painstakingly, Harry pulled away. "Maybe the girl's bathroom isn't the best place, to… you know," he said with an embarrassed smile.

Draco looked around. "Oh, I don't know. Throw a few curtains and couches, and this place might become a nice, solitary space to be in. Our little hideout."

Harry's felt a sweet pang on his chest. _Our little hideout._ Somehow this small, probably unassuming comment, made any trace of doubt that burrowed at the back of his mind just slitter away.

Harry cleared his throat as he felt his ears burn red. "You might be right. But first…"

Draco sighed. "Yes, yes. Dumbledore."

Harry stood up and gave Draco a hand up. He went over to where he'd thrown their wands and brought them back.

"Here," he said, extending the wand to Draco.

Draco looked between it and Harry. "You really trust me, just like that? After everything that's happened?"

Harry smiled. "I might just be crazy, I know. But, I've wanted this to happen for so long."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You've wanted to find me crying in a bathroom to wrestle me to the ground for a shag?"

Harry laughed, a sound that made Draco's stomach flutter knowing he'd caused it.

"Maybe not exactly that. But I've wanted to be with you," he said, his cheeks flaring up with the confession.

Draco found himself smiling. "Can't honestly say I haven't wanted the same."

They smiled at each other and walked out.

**I had planned to make this a full blow mature scene, but it just didn't quite flow. I might either add another chapter and raise the rating, or maybe write a new, different story. **

**I appreciate your thoughts and comments. If there's anything you'd like, I sometimes take ideas if I think I can write them well.**


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